sembunyi [save me]

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// kembali ke pangkal yang hujung.... rapat-rapat, rimbun chenta. andai chenta itu klimaks, apakah yang menanti selepas..?

royal mausoleum

“i would like to remind all that i have not forgotten Batu Puteh (Pedra Branca). it was not Singapore’s but Johor’s. forever, i shall look for ways to return it to Johor.”

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pasti ramai yang mengingati ‘point blank’ Almarhum Sultan Iskandar ketika Johor kehilangan sebahagian dari tanah jajahannya pada 2008; he threw a shocker at the opening of the Johor State Assembly that year when he announced dan menjadi bualan ramai yang hadir pada ketika itu.

lima hari berlalu, ketika orang di luar masih bertempek perihal membakar gereja dan surau. perpaduan kaum di negeri ini masih utuh pada pendapat saya. lihat saja masih ramai yang akur, bijak dan menghormati serta prihatin mengambil langkah untuk berkabung. he streets here were almost deserted in the morning as most Johoreans were following the last rites for the late Almutawakkil Al-Allah Sultan Iskandar ibni Almarhum Sultan Ismail.

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secara peribadi ianya bukan sekadar kehilangan pentadbir negeri, tapi permata berharga negara kita. saya melihat subjek ini bersifat individu... tiada harga bagi melayu tanpa kesultanan melayu!!! the late Sultan Iskandar Ismail of Johor was one of Malaysia’s most mercurial hereditary monarchs, known for speaking his mind.

ramai terlepas pandang dan menjadikan peristiwa kemangkatan sebagai ‘global warming’ or isu panas, mempolemikkan kesultanan secara politik mereka sendiri. tidakkah mereka lihat bahawa ada ‘kita’ dalam setiap diri mereka itu?!? jika tidak merenung pada sukunya, pada luaknya, darjat dan agamanya, mahupun bangsanya; apalah salah bersifat kemanusiaan sedikit...human being. masuk kandang harimau mengaum, masuk kandang kambing mengembek…so, apa yang menjadi pelik untuk tidak mengingkari perintah yang kau sendiri adalah jajahannya? opsss, terlupa…ini hanya ‘human rules’ sedangkan tuhan rules pun masih korang larung kan?!?

orang sebegini...sakit.

selayaknya mereka ini dicampakkan saja ke kandang buaya mahupun harimau milik tuanku (such visits can prove unusual, as the Sultan is known to keep exotic pets like peacocks and crocodiles) dibiarkan mati menjadi santapan exotik bagi haiwan tuanku! *sinis*. hari-hari menyanyi lagu Negaraku pun masih bebal untuk mendalami ertinya, apatah lagi mencari jati diri seorang melayu itu!!!

Royal Mausoleum,
Johor Bahru.

bishop

engkau hanya “pendekar” yang digelar askar percaturan petak bersegi empat sama. bukan penting bagi pemerintah seperti dia, just a piece of meat! engkau berkhidmat untuk negara. tak lebih macam prebet lapok di dunia moden ni. dia punya hitam dan engkau punya puteh. ada askar, ada kuda, ada raja dan permaisuri dalam kota kaca. jumlahnya sama tak lebih dan tak kurang satu pun. chup!!! dia ni sape? sape dia yang berdiri sebelah permaisuri tu?!?

“wooo, tu kerani cabuknya…pak mat misai kontot!”

cis, buat suspen aku je. perang pun perlukan pencatat minit ke? wakakaka. terdengkot-dengkot macam mangsa perang sabil je? masih bernyawa? kalo timbang kilo, ada harga ke tu? lagaknya macam pemerintah jugak...mati laaaaa. and chuuuup…!

“erm, apa lagi ni pendekar”
“dia tu sape pulak?”
“ooo...salah info tadi dan itulah paderi (pendita maybe?)”
“aku nak jumpa dia-lah; nak buat confession...pasal ‘dia’ pada paderi”

*gulp

what i have just describe can happen to anyone. i am sure things like this has already happpend to everyone many times and the possibility of these things happening again in the future is certainty.

i learn from my frustrating experiences that things often do not happen according to how i want it to. so in learning this also learn to reduse or avoid more frustrations whenever i can. tetiba saya terdiam hilang kata-kata dalam peti cadangan dia. saya lihat diri ini dalam dia, melalui fasa yang sama 5 tahun lepas. oh, macam ni la “aku” mula-mula nak bertapak dulu. dihina dan dicampak sujud hujung ibu jari kaki cagu pun aku masih lemparkan senyum tanpa prejudis.

the problem lies in our daily wanting, hoping, expecting and looking forward to things. this is the normal way human being live and it is the cause of frustrations. the thing is when we want, hope, expect or look forward to something, we are asking to be dissapointed. things happen and they are not subject to what we want, hope, expect or looking forward to. so when something happen that is not what we want, hope…..forward to, we are frustrated and possibly angry too. the “rain” does not care whether we play or not…it is we who insist that things should be what they are not and we suffer for it.

how can we be frustrated when i do not expect anything?

anything can happen and it does not bother you. but if do not want the thing that is happening and want something else, then you feel frustrated and upset. is this not being foooooooooooolish? hanjing la engkau menghanjing-hanjingkan aku!!!

so you give up as much as possible baldi-gold-so'ot bloody racist :'-{ hopes and expectations. in this way hidup ini ada pasang dan surutnya.

hanya satu perkataan menutup redha segala kekalutan petang ni. “sabar bebanyak yea pendekar”. ilmu kita tak cukup dalam. kekuda dan sesiku semuanya lemah. macam mana nak menangkis serangan musuh? suatu ari pasti terpadam “biara” majussi. bersenjatakan pedang dan tombak mana bleh jalan deeeeeek ~ ngee.

'man and superman'

resolusi tahun baru kali ni berjalan dengan lancar sekali…tiada kepanasan di luar suhu bumi. banyak masa saya abiskan bersama keluarga dan teman kotak ati, lebih fokus. lebih tenang. orang tua-tua kata kalo kita nak "ikat" suami kenalah ikat perut dia dulu. baru cinta boleh mekar berkembang macam perut dia orang jugak...mekar berkembang! hahaha :-)

"there is no love sincerer than the love of food"

for me, the cooking life has been a long love affair, with moments both sublime and ridiculous. happy and successful co*kin' doesn't rely only on know-how; it comes from the heart, makes great demands on the palate and needs enthusiasm and a deep love of food to bring it to life.

cooking is an art and patience a virtue... careful shopping, fresh ingredients and an unhurried approach are nearly all you need. there is one more thing - love. love for food and love for those you invite to your table. with a combination of these things you can be an artist - not perhaps in the representational style of a dutch master, but rather more like gauguin, the naïve, or van gogh, the impressionist. plates or pictures of sunshine taste of happiness and love.

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* naked chef in de making

v@nilla

“character is like a tree and reputation its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it the tree is the real thing”.

i totally love this proverb like i’m loving my gud fren too (one recipe for a longer life). the theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about ME that you might not have known! my first edition [tag] by kekacang. what a load of rubbish. probably only half of those tagged will bother reading it and maybe one will repost if lucky. what are the chances that only know one side of the story (on the other side of the coin) hehehe. watch-out the soal siasat!

1. what time did you get up this morning?
alarm ringin’ at 5.15 am and i’m singin’ at 7am and still lambat macam siput babi paralysed moving. tak champor lagi tarian sewang bagai dush*
2. diamonds or pearls?
pearls…more typical & classic touch.
3. what was the last film you saw at the cinema?
papadom (a gud deal with satriawara).
4. favourite tv show? project runway (after larikan diri dari rumah ouch*)
6. what is your middle name? spacing bar! wakaka.
7. what food do you dislike?
lady’s finger, peria, petola, terung, taugeh and sardin.
8. what is your favourite cd at this moment? once (ost)
9. what kind of car do you drive?
kelisa (one & only my besday car)
10. favourite sandwich?
cornish with chicken mayo.
11. what characteristic do you despise?
hypocrite!!! darm* and mulot like “cipup” we call dat “kaci-pup” lalala..emo jap!
12. what career would you choose if you had to change?
interior designer? socialite gak maybe?!?
13. if you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
bali. island of de gods, demons, temples, music and dance :D sesuai banget untuk otak mereng + nirrajim cam korunk.
14. favourite brand of clothing?
cap ayam branding but trendy! (for diz moment, look like indie) no more aunty zara wokey hehehe.
15. where would you retire? mum’s haus world peace!!!
16. what was your most memorable birthday?
memorable ke memorial nirvana ni..? ke paper memo...last year’s.
17. ? no question so talk amongst yourselves...
simple person but quite cerewet, i am virgo’s and need more vigra hahaha. my fren said i’m sangat komited (120 percent komitmen than you) very energetic and sumtime ge-tic mati la deeeek. hey, i am a good bibik wokey!!! just have a multiple sides to be explore ~ ngee.
18. furthest place you are sending this?
malas nak nyusahkan kekawan…baik kan kita? aku tau korang memang ke-ley-sa!!!
19. person you expect to send it back first?
nothing special, nope.
20. when is your birthday?
september 14th. hafal tarikh ni dan kalo lupa gak please tulis atas kertas and kepam bawah ketiak 3 ari then rendam bagi minum air dia huhuhu; hadiah?
21. are you a morning person or a night person?
morning sinus…like pregnant sinus.
22. what is your shoe size?
7 inche…hahaha
23. pets?
pets huges? pwooorh…perlu ke “penyu the tortoise” hahaha just popoo my mum’s doggy-dorf grrrrrr….i miss my ebab too (arwah kucing siam).
24. any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us?
everything was under one roof, right now!!! no hard felling.
25. what did want to be when you were little?
prime minister.
26. how are you today?
flu & blue (sound like hampir-hampir tersedak hingus)
27. what is your favourite candy?
coconut candy + sapi = ammah
28. what is your favourite flower?
red is roses.
29. what is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
shoppin’ sales walkin’days and my birthday.
30. what is your favourite pastime?
time kekechik makan cendol reramai kat stall walker with my family after my dad kluokan some salary…we lepak-ing port kat celah between building. we share de story and make it some jokes. i miss de smells, laugh and the whole clicks laughs with me, de environment, de clothes, de flavour of me, de smiles and de bangku panjang too.
31. what are you listening to right now?
“if you want me” by glen gansard & marketa irglova [once OST]
32. what was the last thing you ate?
pisang…"pisang" and pisang again…pisang goreng laweeeey.
33. do you wish on stars? ha ah, long time ago.
34. if you were a crayon, what colour would you be? pink.
35. how is the weather right now?
cold…really cold and need sumone[s] to make me warm.
36. the first person you spoke to on the phone today?
my “client”.
37. favourite soft drink? vanilla co*k.
38. favourite restaurant?
myra bistro @ m’suites.
39. real hair colour? ba-ba [black]-ship wakakaka.
40. what was your favourite toy as a child?
piano and free gift colgate car.
41. summer or winter? clearance sales seasons ~ ngee.
42. hugs or kisses?
hold my hands pun dah kira bagus!
43. chocolate or vanilla? both…and depends.
44. coffee or tea? a cup of tea pleeeease :-)
45. books or films? films
46. when was the last time you cried?
last two days…bout “nasi dagang”
47. what is under your bed?
only me and my handphone cap ayam. so pity huh?!?
48. what did you do last night?
cerita atas katil mana bleh bagitau korunk yang blum baligh...nulis blog’s.
49. what are you afraid of losing?
kepercayaan : bila orang mula tidak percaya pada kita!!! dan losing orang yang kita sayang.
50. what is your favourite cookie?
homemade peanuts butter cookies.
51. how many keys on your key ring?
my sm:-)e…only one key! it is the key that fits the lock of everybody’s heart.
52. how many years at your current job?
six years.
53. favourite day of the week?
friday…felt really free.
54. how many towns have you lived in? two.
55. do you make friends easily?
yup, my motto is “semua orang bleh being my fren but not me”. love does not come by finding the perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

note to god

“everyday, i thank allah for everyday things like the ability to breathe, the ability to love, the ability to laugh, and the ability to eat and drink”

i’m not a lady “gaga-h” and not a wonder girls yang korang bleh jadikan super-dream-idols. hari bagaikan pantas, masa terus menyeksa leka diulit detik berprasangka tanpa kata…tanpa nama…tanpa sesiapa yang tanpanya.

what else could i do?

f.o.c.u.s !
f.o.c.u.s !
f.o.c.u.s !

the next phase of my life will require that i choose a career…maka segala titik buta permulaan pembuka tanda kata hanya-nya, harap tertutuplah tanda kata digaris akhir kesudahan nyata. in the midst of an interesting piece of gossip…

focus pada yang kita cinta,
focus pada yang tidak cintakan kita;
focus pada yang pernah…mencintai.

to be nature :-) bersifat alami. menyentuh pada yang lupa dibelai, merangkul pada yang lupa didakap, merapati yang jauh terinjak, menunduk pada dongakan pertama tersanggah tidak. anyhow i fell better now after having some idea of what can i do in future. it is still not definite career i will take up. at least i know where to begin.

F.O.C.U.S

go-go-go twenty ten!!!

kilometer sifar

life is like a book ~ everyday has new page, with adventures to tell, lessons to learn and tales on good deeds to remember. discard the bad, remember and learn from the good. episode in the coming year. may 2010 be a bleesed year of great success, happiness, good health and lebih kaya raya.

“chams you kat ner?”
“hurm sayang, kat opis la...pe citer?”
“so tonite celebrate kat mana?”
“marina float, jom...singapore!”

sedang semua kekawan sibuk berbalas pantun and wishes tahun baru, saya masih bergelut perlukan ubat penenang (chup, ubat penenang kuda mungkin?!?) lambakan kerja terlambak bikin saya joget lambak sejak tersidai cuti panjang ke bali till berlarut menantikan papa “santet” kirimkan hadiah krismas.

oksigen pleeeeeeease...pwooooorrrh.

apa-apa pun on tonite saya tetap akan celebrate @ singapore. mabuk-mabuk? clubbin’..? maybe subject, dush* esok saya ke opis keje la beb! johor tak ada red carpet tuk bercuti macam korang mengkafirkan diri. lagipun kita orang islam sikit hehehe (warak katanyeeer :d). kalo lebam bijik mata pagi esok special effect tak cukup tido so terpaksalah standby nurul shukor tuk buat teknik smoky eyes.

he’s naim, my fren (wo-wo-wo he’s not my speedo ok!!! pullstop!) cam biasa kita orang take dine kat arab street and parking betul-betul depan masjid sultan. fyi, murtabak kat situ memang kaw-kaw punya. lagi pun si naim dari siang tadi dah merengek nak makan mutton murtabak and saya cam biasa melantak murtabak ayam madu.

“you help me amik kamera i...on yea”
“elo pakcik, dah 3 kali i on but still tak pe-pe pun”
“a-la-mak, forgot my battery-lah and my memory card also dalam beg lagi satu”

ouch* lalalalala

so terpaksalah pose dengan kemera cap ayam malam tu, nasib badan. hasilnya not to bad like cam-boring and no more cam-woarin’ yang sexy messy (terasa sengal jap macam paris hilton dengan nicole richie).

naim surprises me with new gadget…and he look so excited like amik extacy to godek this GPS. perjalanan kali ni ditemani suara pompuan gedik si mesin plastik yang terus membuatkan destinasi malam kitaorg penuh dramatik and lil’bit lo-man-tik ayooo, so funny la this mesin (sumtimes we’ll featuring like “lady gaga[h]” talk and talk again sampai kita orang nak romen pun susah, cemas sungguh (*_*”)

GPS konon?!? bagus lagi pelan rabak cap ayam kita (lebih cepat, masa pun singkat). harrrraaam, teknologi la saaaaangat!

now, u follow my direction and lupakan pompuan kekwat GPS you ni. pe kata you just park your car infront of ocbc and kita walk in ke clark quay ok?!? still stuck on traffic. this year saya tak dapat nak adjust port yang perfect macam last year. whatever, i’m epi tengok fireworks tu sambil buat wish.

before i get drunk and lost my phone...lima…empat…tiga…dua…satu...
epi new year!!!

yelah-yelah-yelah “belated” but still in mood wokey ~ ngee.