red carpets

it was during my freshman year or month maybe? during haze week of all times that i realized what my mother was trying to say. we will always have to deal with not so nice people every once in a while, that's just life. some of them will be darn right mean and nasty for reasons you will never understand. the trick is to take away their power. and the best way to do that is to smile (bebuatan sgt).

org kata air mata itu teman hidup sorg wanita, merendam yg terpendam agar terlerai segala dendam. dan airmata juga terapi terbaik buat mereka yg kesepian. benarkah lelaki terlalu lokek beremosi dgn airmata? jika tiada airmata adakah hidup kita lebih bermakna atau tiada masalah? menangis bukan bermakna derita atau lemah…kegembiraan juga boleh buat kita menangis. ianya luahan emosi paling jujur dan tidak terseka.

i can remember my mother saying those words to me when i was a child, whenever someone had been mean to me or had made me feel bad about myself. i hated it!!! i mean, how stupid “kill them with kindness”? biarlah diaorg buat jahat kat kita, asalkan kita tak buat jahat kat diaorg tu…what about killing them with my bantal buchuk or how about sluor katok yg bacin? yeah, that will make everything better.

i say, play the game by your own rules. it really is that simple. nothing they say can ever cut you, their words will never make you bleed but only you can make the change. you have to tell yourself that you are ok.

if you fail to recognize that the path to success in not forged on the broken backs of the one's who look up to you, then you have lost the race before ever even leaving the gate. we all have different and complicated reasons for why we choose our hero's. they usually offer some sort of mental or emotional protection or validation to us. sometimes they are in a place in their lives that we hope we too will someday be. but other times, the one's that climb a top their pedestals everyday for worship, lose sight of their responsibilities. to protect and serve, to guide their friends through the shark infested waters, not tell them when it's time to eat.

success is not measured by a person's body count along the trail. it's walls are not climbed by tearing them down first and then guiltlessly sweeping the rubble out of your way. if you are a successful friend then you are a success in life. so just be good at that, it doesn’t' have to be bigger or more. if you cannot save the people at the top, at least try to save the ones beneath them. they might finally see that their idols biggest misconceptions and mistakes, their greatest failure and ultimate heartbreaks were purely self inflicted. fill your life with honest, real experiences and the positive energy your create will build an unpenetrable wall against the negative, evil doers in your life. success is not the answer to your happiness but failure is not the end. all the money in the world could not replace how it feels to love yourself or to have a true and honest friend. don't let fear or anger change the person that you are. that kind of success is a "goodie" at hearts reward and our ultimate revenge.

buat mereka yg masih setia dan jujur mendengar luahan kata hati ini, dan kerana anda juga saya masih teguh berdiri sebagai hamba “nur muhammad”. dengan rendah diri dan ati menerima kesilapan dan pujian hanya pada-nya sambil berangan-angan nak ucapkan:

“i really didn’t think i would win anugerah khidmat cemerlang for diz year, speechless*” or “i really didn’t think i would be standing here without my SPF15 panas terik bawah matahari pagi tgh-tgh padang dataran ni…giler?,” and then give an acceptance speech like they didn’t think they would win. well, my question is, “why did you think you were invited to this gala event?”

till band starts playing the “wrap it up” music ~

“i would like to acknowledge the following people…i mean y.o.u, my sweet family & frens. thanks you to understand me”

alhamdulillah, amin.

E=MC²

“marah ni turun kl tak sembah duli!”

“patik tumpang “kencing” je tuan puteri, hahaha nak lari singapore plak cityscape kat suntec. end of month je la kita jumpa”.

pwwooorrh, thanks god akhirnya siap gak my report for unesco tu and sempat submit kat ministry on de dot. terpaksa bagi excuses to skip jumpa peminat and kekacang yg mula mambling or bible-ling like murai cabut ekor. balik dari kl trus minta my driver anto saya ke opis, lebih penting bila tgk my boss tersingai mcm durian busuk show off her feelin’. kira ok la tu. ni baru first stage.

pegi buat facial wash-lah…penat sgt muka ni tak cukup tido and alang-alang tu bleh trus cuci rambut yg tak brapa nak banyak ni, hahaha. wah, kak thye nak pegi bercuti kat china katanyerrrr. so borak-borak la dgn owner kedai yg chantek ni walaupun umur dah senja…she look so great! title janda ni mmg sllu buat org jd giler, chanteknya mengalahkan anak dara. no wonder la banyak janda kat m’sia ni laris mcm goreng pisang panas!!!!

then, dtg plak satu customer dia si tokey kedai makan cina. yg bestnya bila dia bercerita in “bahasa” yg tak fluent with pelat cina jinjang. kebanyakan customer kak thye smuanya dah jadi bestfren, termasuklah saya. borak punya borak si tokey ni sebenarnya bisnes masak menu melayu.

tokey: kamu datang la kedai saya...makan, sedap tau saya masak.
kita: you masak apa? (halal ke? bila masuk bab mkn je org kita sllu sgt berkira psl halal-haram but bila bab tinggalkan sembahyang, minum arak, tgk cd blue, mengumpat bagai tak plak berkira halal haram? motif?).
tokey: nasi lemak...itu sambal sedap tau.
kita: org cina pandai mkn sambal ke? pedas kan?
tokey: ckit-ckit.
kita: lagi you masak apa? (sekadar laaaayankan aje).
tokey: itu “nasi kangkang”

hahahahaha...bleh mati keras kitaorg gelak....hahaha...

thye: sape mau mkn “nasi kangkang”? ayoooo, saya pun bleh buat ape...?
kita: huh, what? “nasi kangkang” ke?
tokey: itu nasi ada kaler warna biru-biru.
thye: saya sudah ckp itu nasi lain lerrrr.
kita: wooooo, “nasi dagang”-lah! (sengal btul tau tokey ni).

mmg seronok dpt borak-borak dgn diaorg ni, lain bangsa, lain bahasa, lain agama but masih boleh gelak sesama dgn aman.

teringat plak masa saya dan sirap limau pergi ke redbox bebrapa bulan lps. smuanya gara-gara “boring” takde aktiviti ilmiah nak buat, so terjebak melalak kat tempat durjana tu. apa yg lawak when kitaorg nak bayo tiket parking guna mesin yg canggih katanyerrrr & pantas.

kita: biar kita yg bayo...
sirap limau: ala, biar la org yg bayo plak?

memandangkan smua duit dlm wallet takde note kechik and renyuk, so we try and error je la sumbat apa yg dpt…bedal je beb, asal lepas~then bila dah puas sesi sumbat-sumbat duit, our kad plak buat hal tak bleh nak detect...so?

mesin: ada pe encik?
kita: erm* terpranjat kita tau, kad ni tak bleh nak detect-lah (ish, camner plak mesin ni tau kitaorg tgh complicated ni? skodeng agaknya...paparazi btul).

sementara si limau suam masukkan duit dgn mcm-mcm direction yg menyusahkan tu till amik a few minute...so saya pun ada banyak masa nak buat aksi ultraman ke, gaban ke, satria baja itam ke...sambil create lawak bodoh blakang mesin yg becok mengarahkan limau suam dgn ajaran sesatnya.

...suddenly

“saya takde blakang mesin tu...toksah la intai”

hahaha, a-la-mak lupa plak ada kamera kat situ! patut ler lancar je mesin tu beborak dgn limau suam...wakakaka :p

kantoi~dush*
note: tak sabo nak mkn nasi dagang dgn sayang...kita gi trenganu sesama ok? opsss...konfius jap, ni nasi dagang ke nasi kangkang???

vespa’s

i grew up listening to stories about abu’s from the family, and in particular from my emak side. as i was growing up, my abah would drag me out to the rubber estates not really near with my house (actually this is his hobbies when my father not to “menyalak” with his student). i love my abah vespa’s…big butt and look soooooo sexy. dat the only transport yg abah akan bwk masuk “kebun” and tak mungkin dia kotorkan his car.

pepagi mak akan kejutkan saya…”erm, nak ikut tak?” i know children will be children, and how difficult it is for parents to get their children to be interested in what they think is important. it’s a lovely dew-covered wiken morning at the kebun. the morning sun has burnished the tree with a golden hue. enjoying the morning’s full glory is a special family. wo-wo-wo where is my SPF15? …not to use on de dat time-lah but my emak always brings a mor-pi-ko or what a nyamuk label yg cuba-cuba kiss and do a love bite to my skin. dush*

“mak, buah ni bleh makan tak?”

that’s ”buah pelanduk”. the red color and kechik-kechik look like red berries yg bersepah dlm kebun getah. the taste is very “testis” and dat why-lah all de bird pun mkn diz buah. emak kata kalo binatang bleh mkn diz buah, so kita pun bleh mkn jugak. but mak...kita bukan binatangkan? wakaka, naughty huh? nak kena ketil ni. saya tak rasa ramai org akan kenal diz pokok and i’m really miss smell of “kebun”.

how fast our lifestyles have changed.

my abah mmg superb with a gud PR. cikgu la katakan. sometimes, i would just seat in the car and he would leave me with a “tora” or “ding-dang” or others chikedish to rasuah me and join him to go to pasar ikan. aiyoh!!! the strong smell of “pasar” was everywhere.

saya mmg kekwat dari kechik…i love his “rasuah” but i still not to go to de pasar, hahahaha :p all families have their fair share of good times and bad. poised and full of charm.

bila sampai “ari itu”, abah sllu balik dgn bebrapa bungkusan hadiah. saya tak tau apa prasaan abah on dat time. walaupun letih but abah masih bleh memeluk saya waktu dia balik mengajar. hey, look…abah bwk chikedish to me too. mungkin abah rasuah murid-murid dia kot utk belikan hadiah? or buat ugutan utk tak bagi pull mark paper exam diaorg (sori abah, juz make a stupid assumption, huhuhu).

abah mmg garang masa mengajar, even…rotan is his bestfren. kat sekolah dialah cikgu yg digeruni and kat rumah saya cuma gerun masa dia mengajar subjek bm to maths and make me really-really sesak nafas. pwooooorrrh, lebih seram when his mengajar mukaddam & al-qur’an. nasib jugak berzanji atuk emak yg ajarkan, kalo tak…but my abah cuma garang on dat time je tau. sebab kasih sayang abah & emaklah saya jadi saya skarang. next time, saya citer plak psl family protocol and de pantang larang yg emak kena ajarkan includes de which baju you kena pakai for any function….mati deeeeek!

kalo saya di tempat abah, “ari itu” pasti saya tak ke sekolah sbb dia bukanlah favourite cikgu pd memurid dia. ucapan tahniah hanya dtg dari emak-bapak dan org kampung yg nampak pengajaran abah itu berkesan…on dat result.

abah dah lama berehat kat rmh dan mungkin jugak penat. walaupun dia tak trima hadiah yg byk, but abah tak pernah lokek berikan hadiah pd org lain. korang tau, abah dah hadiahkan vespa’s dia pada sorang polis. vespa yg pernah bwk saya dan emak ke kebun. dgn vespa’s itu jugak abah pergi mengajar memurid dia kat kampung pendalaman. tindakan yg kurang for-fu-lar but cukup menyentuh ati, sooooo touchin’.

today is 16th and…memurid abah pun dah terlupa agaknya. but saya juga murid abah.

“selamat pagi cikgu pencen”

jamadil’akhir

“apabila kita ketawa, kita mentertawakan diri sendiri. mentertawakan org mudah, tetapi mentertawakan diri sendiri itu yg lebih susah. dgn ketawa kepada diri sendiri, kita belajar jadi manusia yg menyedari kelemahan yg ada. menyedari tidak bermakna kita menerima. ia jadi jalan pertama utk kita memperbaikinya” by datuk lat.

temperatures are soaring now that ”summer” is here and except from our bottom heart.

kekacang: ayo…you meroyan kat siapa ni?

dato’: kalau “dia” tak jawab, abg tolong jawabkan. tido cham’s…”dia” pun rindukan cham’s

limau suam: babe, kenapa? sorry…mlm td bateri kong la. pagi ni charge jap masa mandi. hmm…lonely eh? cham’s, kan ada org…

nips: “care” is the main ingredient that keeps true relationship alive, despite separation, distance & time. since i can’t see you, let my care be with you always.

but how many people are ”losing” their identity?

my style has changed in the last two years (after brake-up, hahaha). i’m one of those guys who sees a graphic-tee shirt, that is cheap! looks nice, feels good…i mean more coooool.

oh bulan
enggan melayan diriku lagi
pabila, air mata membasahi pipi
dan lagu-lagu di radio seolah-olah memerli aku
pabila, kau bersama yg lain

adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga merindui aku

ku enggan, berpura-pura ku bahagia
ku enggan, melihat kau bersama si dia
oh ku akui cemburu
mula menular dalam diri
pabila…kau bersama yang lain

pabila kau merenung matanya
ku rebah, jatuh ke bumi
di saat kau benar-benar mahu pergi
seperti ku bernafas dalam air.

kekacang: [private conv] it’s a gud thing, both of you need to move on a new chapter. it will get better, i promise. you always have my support!

jebat iskandar: dah agak dah…adik i nie mesti tgh sedih. i harap you banyak-banyak bersabar. apa yg berlaku mungkin ada hikmah disebaliknya.

tenuk: bila kali terakhir uols peluk dia?

the bottom line is that we all want to be happy. if i can do it, so can they?

epi mother's day!

abah, me & lovely mum's
apa je yg mak masak is de best dishes in de world~homesick sgt :(
diz pics mmg "i'm a diva"...mak where is ur "se-pek-ma-ta" prada?
speedo...kalo masa dpt diulang, it's me :P
epi mother's day for my "atuk mak" jugak!!! love you*

sem9ilan

mengira bintang bertaburan di dada langit barangkali boleh menenangkan prasaan yg mula berkecamuk. anak kambing sudah tidak bisa melompat pagar kayu dan melelapkan mata di malam ari. begitulah prasaan saya yg tak keruan memikirkan pelbagai persoalan tak berkemudi. mungkin saya terlalu bebal utk menafsir segala persoalan itu? ataukah saya terlalu kebal dan akan karam dalam prasaan bergelora ini.

lemas.

ternyata saya gagal mengemudi prasaan ati. mana mungkin saya nafikan kehadiran dia dlm idup saya. dialah “kawan” berbicara…sepak terajang, sehingga tertitis air mata menyimbah pipi. walaupun kehadirannya yg menjengah usia setahun dalam idup saya pd 09 mei ni semakin tidak bererti lagi. akhirnya dia pergi meninggalkan tanah perling jua. kerananya blog’s ini tercipta berbulan dulu sebagai tanda maaf seorg “kawan” kpd “kawan”.

saya telah lama sendiri…sendiri dlm erti kata “tiada sebuah ikatan”. tempoh dua tahun itu sepatutnya telah mendewasakan. jangkanya telah punya kekuatan sendiri utk berdiri...tapi ternyata saya masih dibuai prasaan smlm. sayu. halalkan makan dan minum saya sekerdip waktu itu.

walau kaseh awak sejauh dua marhalah atau sejengkal galah skalipun…ia dekat dlm ati saya. sebabnya kita masih berkongsi udara yg sama.

o

terima kasih penyu.
[alhamdulillah]

ain't no s:(nshine

ain't no sunshine when she's gone.

it's not warm when she's away.

ain't no sunshine when she's gone

and she's always gone too long anytime she goes away.

wonder this time where she's gone,

wonder if she's gone to stay

ain't no sunshine when she's gone

and this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away.

and i know...i know

hey, i ought to leave the young thing alone,

but ain't no sunshine when she's gone, only darkness everyday.

ain't no sunshine when she's gone,

and this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away.

...anytime she goes away.

by bill withers, 1971

mentera

"there is no sight on earth more appealing than the sight of a woman making dinner for someone she loves".

nyum-nyum, si ain wahid dah tagged kita dgn amaran keras katanyerrr...apa yg keras masih saya konfius ni...huhuhu :p ain wahid ni takde kaitan langsung dgn mi rebus haji wahid yg for-fu-lar tu! but you can catch all de story-morry bout her at lit secret garden, i mean @ her blog’s.

ni senarai mentera serapah merangkap amaran keras dukun ain berserta pengerasnya yg perlu diperasapkan di atas dapur kayu, watcha:

1. senaraikan 10 images makanan / minuman yang anda teringin nak makan saat ini (utk diperasapkan kemenyan).
2. carian hendaklah dilakukan dengan google dan paparkan image paling menggiurkan (dat mean seksi lagi mengurangkan pahala diet korang mengikut firasat waktu itu di dalam geluk air).
3. turutan gambar hendaklah mengikut nafsu keinginan anda masing-masing (ya ampun...banjingan skali nafsu brahi kamu yeh?).

satu-satunya dishes melayu yg dari dulu sampai la skrg menjadi kegilaan saya. tak kisah la susuk nak kluo ke, nak masuk smula...janji rock!

yg ni korang bleh abiskan duit berpoya-poya kat T.G.I friday, sedap gila babas!

my cheezzy wedges ...bleh meroyan kalo tak dpt dadah tegar ni.

pizza hut : pepperoni and cheese
nasi lemak senibong...ni pun sedap tahap cipan sambil tgk sunset menghadap kota singa.
lepak-ing at starbucks mabuk-mabuk drinkin' "manggo juice".

lovey-dovey brownies walnut with ice-cream : secret recipes

m

4. sila tag 6 orang lain untuk tugasan ini. selamat menyelesaikan tugasan! (wo-wo-wo, sedap ati korang je eh...dah thumb tagged kiter then berikan kata-kata semangat yg palsu!!! syaitan nir’rajim sesgt).

sebagai penebus “mengkedarah” inilah senarai pendek puaka niyang rampik yg akan di-saka-kan tag berantu ni, saya perturunkan 5 org sebagai waris. need a ganjil numbers:

adie, pakwe, kekacang, haire & akmal.

sweet endings to every meal ;-) food is love!!!

fe-MALE

like a princess diana, and today it was dead boring at home like lazy hush puppies. ggrrrrrrrr* woff-worrrrf with nothing to do! till penyu melorong kat kl and quite buzz with his cases, so couple of week and maybe three…so terpaksalah makan sesorg like orphan. after my singapore trip, i was cancel to hu-ha-hu-ha and enjoyin’ diz wiken at genting with my “buchuk”. stayed at home like angel, juz merepek-ing with my pokok and ikan. they look so skinny huh?...nak tiru kate moss la tu??? erm, juz give a stupid-mufid reason coz terlalu bosan & tired. then, on my lappy and…oh my god!!! luperrrrr si pakwe ada tag saya bout “wallpaper”. ish, tisu tandas tak nak ke? paper gak tu? ke old news paper…si pakwe tgh sibuk dgn fitting grand finale kacak bergaya @ saloma bistro in may 09 in the scandalous photo (huhuhu) and gud luck pakwe!!!

now, diz is de syarat-syarat to settle-mental diz tag’s:

1) hanya perlu "printscreen" wallpaper yang sedang kiter guna sekarang...motif? nak tiru lah tu???

2) beri tahu mengapa anda suke "wallpaper" anda itu. if i said no comment, so how? klise tak? ke look like artist kekwat? mati dekkkkk…

if the thongs and sarongs weren't enough of a giveaway, then david beckham's latest confession certainly is. the footballer admitted yesterday that his wife victoria likes to dress him - while he loves being a gay icon.

i think most couples agree you have to listen to your partner and you have confidence in your partner to tell you whether you look good or whether you don't and to help you out with your fashion and dress sense.

apa je yg dia pakai even in shorts, tee shirts and flip flops - smuanya look like metroseksual. very organised person and controlled and need to go to bed at night knowing what he going to wear the next morning, hahahaha klimaks*

"i'm very honoured to have the tag of gay icon".

maybe it's things like (the fact) i like to look after myself, i like to look smart and presentable most of the time.

"i always liked to look good, even when i was a little kid. i was given the option when i was a page boy once of either wearing a suit or wearing knickerbockers and long socks and ballet shoes - and i chose the ballet shoes and knickerbockers".

o

3) pakwe kata kena tag 10 orang. so, saya hanya nak tag david bechkam…so kepada david teoh, david arumugam and even david ko-per-fil skali pun…don’t to be sad or regrets huh! saya tahu korang mesti tarik nafas lega kan? “ke-le-sa” nak jawab diz taggin’...

4) well done!!! simple and cool...it's me :)